No two relationships are alike, but the reasons People End Relationships are frequently the same.
No relationship is perfect; most have a make-or-break point, and they are all a lot of work.
Here are the most common reasons people fall out of love and how to avoid them getting in the way of a happy – or any – ending. Even if the reason for someone’s departure appears to be something else, it’s very likely that it began with one of these.
Feeling Unappreciated
A relationship’s emotional resources are similar to any other – they must be spent and replenished. Things that were important at the start are still important and will always be so.
It is not enough to expect someone to merely be aware that he or she is loved. It completely misses the point. Being openly loving and appreciative is fuel for any relationship and distinguishes an intimate relationship from others.
If one person does all of the giving without receiving anything in return, the well will eventually run dry, and so will the relationship. It only takes one person to feel unimportant to the other for the emotional connection to wither – it’s just a matter of time.
When life gets in the way, it’s easy to take each other for granted, but try these to keep the sparks alive and the person you love close:
- Take note of the minor details.
- Thank you frequently.
- Tell them how wonderful they are.
- Recognize what you like about them, even if it’s just the way they look in a white t-shirt.
- Use your eyes to listen.
- Make them some tea.
- Say ‘good morning’ or ‘goodnight’ as if everything is fine because of them.
- Add a ‘you’ to the end of ‘Hello.’ It makes ‘Hello’ sound more genuine.
- Show affection.
- Give them public kudos or compliments.
- Send a text that says, ‘Missed you today.’
- Slowly kiss. And quite frequently.
- It does make a difference.
Lost of Friendship
The friendship has vanished, or perhaps it never existed at all.
According to studies, the love and passion that comes with the initial boost of marriage fades after two years, which is why the best relationships have genuine friendship at their core.
When the initial zeal fades, a mature, loving, and compassionate relationship takes its place. That’s not to say it won’t get hot at times, but being able to connect emotionally is what keeps a relationship going.
Here are some ideas for fostering an emotional connection:
- Talk on a regular basis.
- Call just for the sake of calling.
- Inquire about their day and pay attention to their response.
- Take note of when they are upset.
- Take note of when they are happy.
- Pay attention when they speak.
- Just because something does not appear to be important to you does not imply that it is not important to them.
- Recognize how they are feeling.
- Laughter At yourself and with one another.
- Understand what is going on in their world. Don’t simply assume that you do.
- Be responsive: When the world gets too much for them, be the soft, velvety place for them to curl up in.
- Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Allow your partner to be there for you as well.
Boredom is A Real Thing.
It’s tempting to do the same things you’ve always done when things are busy, but this can lead to a rut and ultimately drain the relationship.
Nobody wants to feel as though you’re with them out of habit, however lovely the habit might be.
Here are some suggestions:
- Surprise them with items they enjoy, such as her favorite magazine or his favorite ice cream.
- Get her a bottle of her favorite wine and share it with her.
- Plan a Netflix night and watch it with him.
- Prepare a dessert.
- Hang out with each other, not just next to each other.
- Send him/her an email inviting them out on a date, along with a list of restaurants (or take-out options) to choose from.
- Make a mental note of it on the windscreen. And for the sake of it.
They’ve Lost Their Self-Awareness
Do you recall the person you fell in love with? What must occur in order for them to be reintroduced?
It is critical that both people in the relationship maintain a healthy level of independence in terms of their own friends, passions, and interests.
Hopefully, one of their passions will be yours, and vice versa, but having something separate from each other is important for maintaining a sense of self.
You are both more than your relationship, and while it is most likely the most important thing in your life, it is perfectly fine for it not to be the only thing. You fell in love with them for who they were, not because they were a clone of yourself.
Problems arise when the balance between me and us is off – spending too much time pursuing separate lives can be just as damaging as not pursuing separate lives at all. Encourage them to pursue their passions.
Loss of Physical Intimacy
Physical love is more than sex and is what keeps a relationship together.
It involves any kind of affectionate contact and can be as simple as touching his back as you walk by or playing with her hair while you watch TV.
Research has found that non-sexual intimacy is essential to long-term satisfaction in a relationship.
Anything skin-to-skin activates the same bonding hormones as sex.
Physical intimacy communicates confidence and affection, and it is what distinguishes an intimate relationship from others.
Physical intimacy loss can be fatal, and it’s also the first step toward emotional intimacy loss. It’s such an important part of a partnership that people would be tempted to look for it elsewhere if it’s gone.
For at least one of you, sex is an integral part of every relationship. It’s just another way to increase the intensity of your relationship and show how much you care for the person you care about. Of course, if both parties agree, a relationship will continue happily without sex, but there will almost certainly be another source of intimacy and affection in these circumstances.
If you’re lacking physical intimacy and want to reclaim it, try the following:
- Begin complimenting and enjoying the little details – and tell your partner.
- Let them know how much you value them. This will begin to re-establish the emotional bond.
- Try to touch at least ten times a day, but start small – accidentally (a brush as they pass by), then consciously (holding hands, your hand on his knee, stroking). I
- f there hasn’t been any physical interaction in a while, this will feel uncomfortable and forced, but keep going. What matters is that you begin.
Last but not least…
Also the most enduring relationships experience peaks and lows. Being with someone necessitates being attentive and active – this requires relentless effort, but the payoff is priceless when it succeeds.
Don’t be deceived by fairy tales. They may all have happy endings, but the love you want is one that has no ending at all. And it will still take more time than a magic wand flourish.